Mind blowing revelation.....well not really

Chalk this one up  to another inner analyzation that I am expressing. Why is it that the only real time I get the urge to type out a blog is when I have some sort of feelings to express?

I had a long conversation with someone on the phone today and it ended up focusing on me and my lack of needing anyone really. At first I fought this assumption thinking this person was ridiculous, "how dare you assume I don't need anyone!" I said. But he gave examples and examples and examples of instances in my life where I have shown I would do just fine without anyone really. I got sad, not because I cared much for what we had just learned but that I had gotten to a point in my life where I am a loner. And not even a cool loner with tattoo's and a beard, with life experiences and my seed sprinkled across the world. A loner who sells carpet and analyzes his fantasy baseball team with his free time. Yet I'm happy. Am I happy?

Now the big topic of the conversation as it tends to do with me and my friends when we are getting deep(which occurs once a year) is my love life.  Ahh my love life, the butt of every joke.  There is a great line in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind where Jim Carey is on the train and sees Kate Winslet drinking coffee, she smiles and he says "Why do I fall in love with the first woman who shows me the least bit of attention." Thats me! Right there. Sums it up. Boom.....outta here. Now granted I need to be attracted to her, but that is pretty much the only criteria other than a bit of attention.  But if we hit those two point I am in love. This person could say I eat children and want to wear your skin as a coat and I would hear I want to bear your children and I'm cold I want to wear your coat. So I get involved with them and 3 months later realized Gob Bluth style that "I made a huge mistake." Now luckily for me I do everything in my power not to bring attention to myself, because honestly....I just really don't care.

I want to care, I wish I really yearned for a girl or multiple girls. I just don't.  I am missing that gene, the "I want to be with that girl there" gene.  Maybe I am just lazy. Maybe it is easier for me not to feel anything. Maybe I am gay? Taylor has been looking sexy lately......

I'm not real sure where this rant was headed,  I am having one of those nights where I see loving couples strolling in San Diego while I run and am envious of them. Rather than my normal reaction which is get the f*#@ out of my way.

At least Comic Con is in town, boy do I feel better about myself after see that scene.

And I promise my next 2 posts will not be anywhere close to feelings related, I promise. These feeling stuffed blogs might be making people doubt my life long claim to not having feelings.

PS- I love Steely Dan